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The Forbidden Arts of Programmers That Are Amazingly Impressive

Category Programmer Jokes

These secret techniques known only to coding masters are now being passed on to you today...

1. The Art of Serious Nonsense

When confronting product managers with requirements, speak seriously about the undesirable or unwanted features using mysticism and other means, leaving the product manager bewildered and retreating in the face of difficulty.

2. The Three Stages of Debugging Art

First Stage: Exhaustive Debugging Art

When unable to find the problem, try commenting out the relevant code line by line until the issue is identified.

Second Stage: Advanced "Exhaustive Debugging Art": Binary Search Debugging Art

Similar to the "Binary Search Debugging Spell," when unable to find the problem, try deleting half of the relevant code and compile and run. If the problem still exists, delete half of the remaining code and compile and run again. This method theoretically takes O(logn) time (n is the number of lines of code), which is said to be slightly faster than the exhaustive method.

Third Stage: Online Debugging Art

If the first two methods are not effective and you are unsure whether the changes are correct, try deploying it online first... If it doesn't work, roll back immediately!

3. The "1111111111" Art

4. The Art of Being Too Lazy to Explain

When a programmer is too lazy to explain what he has done, he usually summarizes his code as "algorithm."

5. The Art of Forgetting Everything

Looking at the code you wrote three months ago, you completely forget why you wrote it that way.

6. The Art of Thinking Everyone Else Is an Idiot

The product manager is an idiot, QA is an idiot.

The user is an idiot, the one who wrote this code is an idiot.

Wait a minute...

It seems I wrote it...

7. The Product Blessing Art

Invite a master to perform a blessing ceremony for the product about to go online, ensuring stable operation and a continuous flow of wealth. For example, like this:

Or like this

And also like this

8. The Code Blessing Art

Place a statue of Buddha at the beginning of each file to seek the blessing of Buddha for no bugs. For example:

9. The Art of Random Debugging

Change it randomly, and it seems to run correctly, although you don't know why. The specific manifestation is:

10. The Art of Disbelieving in Misfortune

The specific manifestation is:

11. Pair Programming Art

Two programmers with a tacit understanding place their hands together on the keyboard and code in a posture with one in front and the other behind. The professional term is: spooning (spoon)

12. The Art of Holding a Big Move

It refers to being indifferent after receiving requirements, then starting to chat on WeChat, browse Weibo, and watch A/B stations. When approaching the deadline, start to implement the requirements and complete a week's workload in a day or a few hours.

13. The Art of Mental Control

Type code on a mechanical keyboard with a clattering sound, causing the programmer next to you to be distracted, inefficient, working overtime, sleep-deprived, and eventually leading to a mental breakdown.

14. The Stack Overflow Art

It refers to using Stackoverflow.com to find answers to any problems encountered. Skilled use of this art can make programming work more efficient.

15. The Art of Mystery

The code that worked fine before leaving work yesterday, without any changes, now doesn't work when running!

Add a bit every day

The turtle raised by a colleague

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