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Collection of Programmer Jokes: Similarities Between Bugs and Mosquitoes

Category Coder Life

1

Similarities between bugs and mosquitoes:

  1. You never know where they are hiding.
  2. You never know how many there are.
  3. They always appear just when you're about to sleep and rest.

2

A: I've been watching "One Punch Man" lately, and I think we programmers are a bit like Sensei琦玉!

B: How so?

A: The balder, the stronger!

B: ...

3

Before the National Day holiday, a very cute female colleague suddenly asked me, "Are you free today?"

I was stunned for a moment, thinking that a girl had finally recognized my worth, so I smiled and replied, "Yes!"

Then... I ended up swapping shifts with her...

4

Both PMs and PM2.5 harm a programmer's health.

One is inside the company, the other outside.

5

A programmer went for an interview, and the interviewer asked, "You graduated only two years ago, how did you get three years of experience?!" The programmer replied, "Overtime."

6

Essential reading for programmers:

First Stage:

Second Stage:

Third Stage:

Fourth Stage:

7

A few programmers went to eat, and someone ordered spicy bullfrog. One of them said he didn't eat bullfrog, so the person in charge of ordering simply crossed out "spicy bullfrog" with two slashes, like this:

// Spicy Bullfrog

No one in the room found anything wrong with it.

8

As a child, I thought "early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy" was just a slogan.

But when I proudly became a programmer, I realized it was actually three impossible wishes!

9

Boss: Xiao Cheng, the new version must go live before you leave today!

Xiao Cheng: Okay.

The next day, the boss came to work and asked Xiao Cheng: Why hasn't the new version gone live yet?

Xiao Cheng: I haven't left work yet.

10

Two programmers, one with精湛的技术,严谨的思维,认真负责,几乎没有Bug,至今单身; the other with一般的技术,吊儿郎当,一堆Bug,经常被测试MM叫到她旁边接受批评;后来成了她男朋友...

11

A programmer friend of mine once spent 4000 euros on a bag for a girl he had dated for only a week and then broke up. I asked why, why! He said because the girl set a logic—if you don't buy me a bag, you don't love me. He found this logic absolutely ridiculous but hard to refute. So, to win logically, he bought the bag and then dumped her, proving that he could give her a bag and still not love her.

12

A classmate's birthday party at KTV, a beautiful engineer from his company insisted on drinking with me. She said if she lost, she would do something for me, and if I lost, I would do something for her.

As expected, I won, so I eagerly took her home... hehehe...

Once at home, looking into her watery eyes, I said very affectionately, "Could you please help me with some coding and fix some bugs?"

Afterwards, I secretly praised myself for being so damn smart!

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Original link: http://www.techug.com/post/programmer-jokes-4.html

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